1. The “social rejection” story is louder than the regret story
Many detransitioners say that when someone dies by suicide after medical transition, public discussion almost always blames bullying or transphobia, never the possibility that the person regretted the surgery itself. One man who had bottom surgery put it plainly:
"The high rate of suicide is blamed on transgender bullying and bigotry. I believe the true main cause is realizing they have horrifically mutilated their bodies and the depression has not been cured." – Remainselusive source [citation:5dfd7fcf-d85d-4e40-8039-bd7c9aa28a7b]
Because the dominant narrative focuses on external hate, the quieter but powerful feelings of bodily loss and ongoing sadness are rarely heard.

2. Silence through absence
Several posters note that stories of regret often vanish—because the people who could tell them are no longer alive.
"A lot of trans people regret their decision. So why don’t we hear more of these stories? Because they’ve committed suicide." – [deleted] source [citation:2826e346-aadd-4ef0-b5d5-49e3d8b74253]
This silence, they say, makes it look as if regret is rare, when in fact it may be hidden behind tragedy.

3. Feeling trapped by a “fix-your-body” promise
Many describe being told that medical transition would solve their pain. When it did not—and the body had already been altered—shame and self-blame set in. One woman explained that society teaches vulnerable people
"that they can have a brain that doesn’t match their body instead of teaching them that there’s nothing wrong with their body and it’s possible to accept it as it is." – [deleted] source [citation:142d7333-a6f4-48e8-9d3f-cc1222e3dd17]
They are left believing they personally “failed” a promised cure, rather than questioning whether the cure itself was flawed.

4. Hope lies in non-medical paths
Across the threads, the clearest message is that relief does not require surgery or hormones. Supportive friends, therapy that explores underlying distress, and permission to dress, speak, or behave in any way that feels right—without labeling it a new gender—are repeatedly described as life-saving. One poster reminded others,
"Ultimately you have to live for you... you won’t be destroyed by them." – QuirkyMagpie source [citation:c28347d1-f9e6-4bc0-b1f7-e21ca3f4133b]
Choosing gender non-conformity—simply being yourself without medical alteration—emerges as the path to both safety and authenticity.